We Are Strong

September 25, 2024

Fall is in full swing! We are back to school, sports, music lessons, school meetings, book club… We are moving full speed ahead, almost teetering out of control, so my hubby and I decided it’s a good time for a FAMILY MEETING! We like to have one a couple of times of year to make sure everyone is connected and feels valued. When we get super busy or there is a change in routines (like the start of the school year or holiday time) we have found a family meeting to be helpful.

When the kids were little, our goal was to agree as a family to set up systems that they could follow…like hanging up their backpacks or doing their chores (feeding the dog, helping set the table, laying out clothes for the next day etc…) We all agreed to do those tasks to help the household run smoothly.  We explained that if everyone did “their part” we would have more energy and time to read to them or play outside before bed.

Now that the kids are older and can reason in a more mature way, we have more in-depth discussions. This year we talked about what each of us wants to achieve this school year. Some of the comments were about specific things like not forgetting their cleats for practice, getting good grades or mastering a particular piece of music. We took it one step further and asked the kids to describe how they planned to approach their goals and one word for how they wanted to feel when they look back on the year. What a conversation! It warmed our hearts to hear our perfectly imperfect kids decide to choose the word “strong” as their mantra. Maybe you have heard a coach tell their athletes to “finish strong”? It’s not about coming in first, but about the effort and attitude it takes to persevere. We had so much fun brainstorming all the ways to go strong, be strong, feel strong and love strong.

Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. ~Oprah Winfrey

As we talked about our ideas and goals, we developed our steps-to-success with an action plan. Action takes effort and courage. What can we do to be strong in all areas of our lives? When you feel good you feel strong and you can act with strength physically, mentally and emotionally. While the kids made their own action plans around their individual goals, my hubby and I both made our pledges to be home for dinner. Family meals are like a superpower; they help us parents influence food choices, model good nutrition, and build family relationships. Family meals don’t need to be fancy meals. Just regularly gathering around the table to share a simple meal has multiple benefits, whether with family and or friends.

Enjoying meals together as a family is a great way to get stronger emotionally, physically, and mentally!

Increasing the frequency of family meals decreases the frequency of disordered eating, alcohol and substance use, violent behavior, and feelings of depression. Eating together as a family can also help protect adolescents from the harmful consequences of cyberbullying. Building confidence by supporting each other, sharing the day’s ups-and-downs, and addressing challenging topics happens while we prepare dinner together, eat together and clean up together.

The communication and relationship skills developed during family meals prepares us to survive and thrive. In our safe place at the dinner table, our kids will sometimes pick fights with each other. As parents, we know that’s a clue the child may be tired, had a tough day, or is concerned/scared about something. Being together, we can guide our kids to resolve their conflicts (kindly) and then try to address the underlying issues. If we didn’t have dinner together we might not realize a member of the family is feeling out of whack. Sometimes it’s a simple solve; when our eldest picks on her brother, she has probably not gotten enough exercise that day!

Family meals are an excellent opportunity to reduce your child’s likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors such as experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Feeling supported and secure helps kids reject peer pressure. They are more happy in their own skin and therefore their energy goes towards what they want to do, rather than something they feel pressured to try. Our schedules are even busier now, so we try to make Sunday a cook-together day. Sometimes, one of the kids will come help me prepare dinner, which is often a clue they need to talk about something.

Helping our kids feel strong emotionally and mentally is so important. Our kids are constantly barraged with altered photos of models and actors that aren’t real or attainable. Adolescents are happier, more fulfilled and have better body image when they regularly enjoy family meals. We talk about nutrition as giving us the power to be physically and mentally strong. We try to approach food as a tool, not as a reward or as a bad thing. Moderation is key but our kids know that they won’t feel good after drinking sodas or eating too much candy. However, there is always a time and place for sweets!

Teaching our children the value of good nutrition through cooking our own meals has been so much fun for me. Sometimes the kids (teenagers know everything!!!) will tease me if there isn’t enough “color” on the plate. “Where’s the green Mom?!” They feel comfortable cooking and I am pleased to know that when they go to live on their own, they won’t be relying on fast food.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.  ~Pooh to Piglet

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